SLIP THE NET THE NET THE NET!

Holla.



We at Descartes have been attempting to record some more demos at our favorite underground bunker, Seagate studio. This is going swimmingly. We have four tracks almost done, and hope to have them nailed by this coming weekend.

We are getting a bit over excited with vocals, adding as many backing vocals as the four of us can do. This slows down recording a bit but we hope it will come out sexy.

In one newie (I Am The Snake!) we have a Capella four way bark-off. Which in theory is going to sound like the Futureheads meets The Horrors, but will perhaps end up sounding really daft. But hey, take a risk. I'm also trying to convince the chaps to put a backwards intro on Ice-Nine, so It sounds as if the song is falling in on its self before it even begins, I think I'll win them over.



I was inspired to throw in as many fucked up ideas as I could after watching a documentary on Factory Records the night before we started. The way that Factory came into being and insisted on remaining totally free of all the shit going on around makes modern day music seem really silly. Even the most anti-establishment of today's bands will probably still have a "PR guy" and be forced to tone down in some way by whoever is releasing their records. That's not to say that today's music scene is the way it is for no reason other than gain. Things change, the Internet and all the other mad technological and social advances (if you can call them that) have changed the way music is recorded, released and listened to.

It baffles me how any music ever got heard before the Internet. Its hard enough trying to get people to listen to your music when it's available free and easy over numerous websites so I can imagine many young creative types went insane back in the day.

This t'internet lark is very much double edged though. Being able to get your own music out to the world from the comfort of you bedroom and having the means to discover bands without being prompted by the music press is grand. But, it is also an arena for some twats to rope young people on the hunt for the next big thing with their side-sweep hair cuts and punctuation filled names. I have never heard a We Smoke Fags song, though I noticed they were a featured band on some myspace thing, and had about 10 million friends. They had pictures with nice hair and posed like they we're slightly autistic, yet pretty as hell. Others like Haduken! and Does it Offend You, Yeah seem to follow a similar pattern. Test-Icicles were ace. Klaxons are amazing. But throwing a dance beat behind some difficult noises does not make this new crop innovates in the slightest.

Anyone who comes across pictures of us may well be spitting at their screen reading this, between us we own a fair few leather items, have a hefty mass of hair, and wear our jeans in a manner which will undoubtedly leave us childless. We are partial to the dress up box. I just hope people actually listen to our music, and see what we're trying to do. The sort of people who in the past have called us posers or what ever else may well have a point, but we fucking mean what we do. We sing about things that mean something to us, and try to turn our mass of influences into something new, without totally raping them. I'm sure we all have issues with girls (or boys), eyes meeting across disco floors, unrequited love and the rest and we do sing about this sometimes, but some days I wake up being more bothered about twitchy fingered scientists or the things inside the heads of passing businessmen. Not to write about these things as well would be dishonest. If the people who write albums worth of songs about girls and pubs think solely about girls and pubs then fair enough, but that is a scary thought.

I find myself being constantly indecisive these days. Regarding pretty much every issue I come across. I could probably sit an argue with myself until I slowly died whilst rocking back and forward looking at a wall, but instead try to just take each thing as it comes. So as contradictory as it may sound after a hefty rant like that, I find it hard to get my point across because things stop making sense halfway through a chain of thought. I think people should not be allowed to get filthy rich whilst others are starving, that's an obvious ethical point, but how to enforce this? There are many work shy scrounging bastards that would benefit in a take from the rich and give to the poor scenario. But then others work a seven day week for peanuts, they deserve better. It feels like everything ends in one big catch 22 situation. In music, is signing to a major label like selling your soul to the devil? In some cases it would be. But then just signing to an indie label because it's an indie label is surely simple snobbery, but then again......it could go on forever. Make a point, I'll send myself loopy thinking about it.

Jesus.

Anyway, recording is going well, har har harrr har.

x

Finding Match Sharpness

It is now a mere five little days until we get back to gigging again at The Moorings in Aberdeen. Thank Christ!

Although the break has been useful in that we have been able to compose a shit load of new songs, some finished, some very unfinished, it has been a nightmare being away from the live buzz. Standing on stage and causing some reaction in people is one of the greatest feelings I have know. All the rest involve nudity or untamed animals, but the less said about that the better. The banter of traveling to away games whilst our driver/drummer slowly goes insane with the stress of keeping us playful kiddies under control is a treat. Sound-checks are always a relaxing experience I have found, they make you feel a little special. Then the wait to go on, trying to remain is some fit state, and enjoying the pre-match entertainment. All blissful, all missed.

Back onto the topic of new material. There is a lot of it. We fitted a couple of new songs into our last few gigs, and they have now been touched up and finished, then we have a batch of unheard nuggets that I cant wait to blast out of a meaty sound system. Once again I think we have progressed and created something new. There has been a massive injection of sex into these new songs, listening back to rough tape from practice I find my hips being to thrust like they are completely free from my body. We have also began to piss around with time structures and rhythms, which is very evident on a track currently called "Scratch the Surface".

Due to this influx of newness we have gone and booked some recording time at our friendly local studio, no idea how we will afford this, but it's going to be massive.

The sun is out in Dundee again, but I am stuck in work, next to a large window, just to taunt me. Bastards.

xx

Smoking Pistols

Last night I watched a documentary on Hawkwind. 70s mentalist psychedelic rock. Wild shit.

There was trips down memory lane to the times when Lemmy would stay up for a whole week, get lost, have to hitch-hike to gigs across America and also about the time when their poet/singer went mad, bought some guns then chased the band out of a hotel with a large knife.This made me think also of the other nutters of the time would live insane lives and put on mental shows. Bowie would change his entire personality from time to time and Michael Jackson had a monkey. These people were all fucking nuts, but they still made amazing music and were recognised for doing so.

And now I think about the modern high profile music scene. Doherty is in the papers all the time, but he is really a pretty predictable smack head these days, otherwise what is there?You could never imagine Alex Turner aiming a loaded gun at a journalist or any of Franz Ferdinand wearing an all in one pink cock suit.As long as bands are getting the press they want and making sure the have a well dusted coke nose then all is rosey. Obscure poetry about a whole lot of mind bending shit has now been replaced by tales of the everyday. Things that happen to everyone. Fair enough, a little bit of this can be good, but where the fuck has the escapism gone?

Fuck it, I'm off to buy a cape and ride through Dundee screaming "Burn the little people" at the top of my voice while brandishing a large flame.x

Slowing to a terrible halt.

Its August now. A month of not much at all for us.

The mighty P.C. Markie is off on holiday with his lady wife for the next two weeks. Michael John McFarlane is off to Ireland for the weekend, and we have no gigs for a month or so. Its going to be tough, yes sir-eeee.

Though this has given us the time to piss about with song new or half finished songs. Having a month to do it in is turning out to be a good thing, as its a total nightmare trying to create something original. Sitting at home with guitars and the likes feels terribly restricting sometimes, but with us been skint constantly we cant really afford the luxury of time and finance. I have got my old Yamaha keyboard out of the cupboard and am joyfully pissing about on that in my very own one fingered style. M.J.F currently has my synth (which I blew a chunk of student loan on a few years ago) and he is hopefully going to master it.

So come our next gig, Aberdeen in September, we are going to be Kraftwerk.

Ace.

Burning Up in The Summer Drizzle

Awooha!

The world has been an odd place over the last week or two.

On the gig front, we played at Bannermans in Edinburgh on Sunday (15th), it was a swell venue, really dark and manky looking which suits our atmospheric needs, but sadly there was only about three folk watching us. Two of them were in other bands and the other was a very nice gentleman in a mini-skirt. A nasty hangover meant that the glare of the really over the top lights made me sweat pure German lager.

The following night (Monday 16th) we supported the might Nine Black Alps at The Westport Bar in Dundee. This was a blast, and a bit of an eye opener. This was the first time we have played with a proper big band, so seeing their rack filled with guitars and off limits drum-kit was all new to us. The band themselves where lovely chaps and they put on a cracker of a show, had forgotten how much I enjoyed their first album. The Sounds from Leeds were also on the bill, they also were lovely and shit hot. Like Elvis with a disco beat.

We hope that we impressed a few of the folk in attendance, though it did almost go tits up when I tried to climb around the monitors when I was meant to be singing. Playing bass, singing and balancing on my tip toes over the edge of a stage is a skill I have yet to master.
We also felt like right little rock stars when we got a spanking from the police for drinking outside the venue. Jeeez, sticking it to "the man".

At the start of last week we recorded a few more tracks at Seagate Studios in Dundee. This went well once again. I think we have found our new favorite place in the city.
We are playing in Aberdeen this Saturday with Jyro Jets from Inverness. Looking mega forward to this, Drummonds is le bomb.

Happy Summer Humping.

X

Not a Dry eye in the House

It's T in the Park weekend. And for the first time in five years I'm not there. The pain is a little too hard to take. When tickets went on sale the first time I had money, but couldn't get a ticket, when they went on a second time I had money but couldn't get a ticket, but over the last two weeks when I have been uber skint I have been offered about 8 tickets. Bastards.
The whole weekend is always a big blurry,joy filled extravaganza of bands and beer and odd memories. But I'm not there. Tough.
Anyway, I have some more recording to look forward to, keep me going through this tough weekend. On Tuesday we are going back to Seagate Studios in Dundee (where we recorded our last demos) to touch up some old stuff and record some new tracks.
It's been an odd week in Descartes land, with lots of strange yet exciting snippets of news filtering through, such as chat with national radio DJs, big gig offers and interest from huge promoter chaps. Not sure what will come of any of these things but fingers crossed.
Things better kick into action soon, as I fully intend on playing at T in the Park next year.
Oh yes.
x

Back from the moon, and under pressure.

Tonight, Tuesday 26th of June, we are playing a show at The Underground Bar in Dundee. This is our first home game for a while so I look mighty forward to it. We only found out about it yesterday morning so it's been a hectic one to plan for.
Over the last month or so we have been visiting Aberdeen and Edinburgh, trying to sow the Descartes seed into the hearts of those North and South of us. It has been fun. Though I'm sure one or two of us enjoyed it more than the rest (Paulo you DAWG!).

After tonight's gig we play Dundee again this coming Saturday as part of a two day new bands gathering which coincides with the cities annual "Blues Bonanza". I look so forward to causing as much trouble as possible. Dundee's blues bonanza is an event that takes place over one summer weekend in every year, and is something of an excuse for dead old middle aged knob heads to crawl out of their Holby City induced slumber and go out on the town. They get pissed quickly and stagger about trying to reclaim their lost youth, and no doubt have sex with the lights on for the first time in months. This is also a weekend when the number of pricks in the street having a pop at us for wearing silly clothes or having big hair almost doubles. I'm so glad I get to stand onstage with a microphone in front of the crowd. Oh yes I am.

About 20 minutes ago, a posh old man came into my work, right poncy old fucker who expected to be treated like a king, he pulled out his wallet to pay for a coffee costing a couple of pounds maximum and shows a wad of cash containing, at glance, surely more than £300. I can't help but feel it would be sweet justice if the old fucker got mugged.

So there you are McFarlane. Y'Happy? Are ya? Jeeez man.

LUVS.